Resisting the Consumer-Angst of Christmas
I have been married for just over ten years now (to the same wife, in case you were wondering). Over that time, I have participated in a gradual descent into chaos, in relation to Christmas gift giving.
My wife’s family still like to give Santa gifts, even amongst the adults. What started many years ago, as a simple humourous gift of socks or chocolates, has since mushroomed into gifts on a par, budget-wise, with our main gifts. Add to this that some members of the family live overseas. So, with the additional cost of postage, you can probably imagine the overwhelming strain this has placed on everyone’s finances.
I wonder that the issue is not really about the Santa gifts —everyone likes a fun gift— but the direction of the value we unknowingly place on our gifts.
Joking notwithstanding, the increasing generosity of our gifts may reflect not so much that we love each other any more, but because our value as relatives-living-overseas-but-still-very-much-on-each-other’s-minds is built into our gifts. We spend more to show that we love and care.
Note the emphasis on that last sentence. Despite the person to whom we are giving the gift, our own value as gift-givers also increasingly comes into focus. “I love and care, therefore my gift costs me a lot. I just can’t help myself because I care so much.” Herein lies the subtle training of consumerism.
Australian researcher, Richard Eckersley, defines consumerism as “a lifestyle characterised by the acquisition and consumption of goods and services produced in the market economy”.1 Purchasing and consuming is not the core problem; it is that we have become increasingly defined by what we buy. It does not matter what is my name, rank, and serial number. What matters is: What label is on my shirt? do I own an iPod or a cheap imitation? what is the suburb in which I live? The images of the brands override and overwhelm our capacity for self-determination.
Of course, new products do enhance our lifestyle (as I keep trying to convince my wife when I pick-up a new gadget from the kitchen-wares aisle). Sneakily, however, “the goal of marketing becomes not only to make people dissatisfied with what they have, but also with who they are”.2 Our sense of sin is never satisfied by a gift we give, but by a gift received.
If our self-identity is called into question in a consumer-oriented society, then our gift-giving will likewise reflect this angst. Our gifts purchased for others become an extension of our need to assert our personal identity. “I can’t just buy you any shirt; it has to be from this shirt company.”
So what solutions exist for the angst of Christmas consumerist frenzy? One is provided by our online friends at Simple Savings. This website encourages Australians to be smart and frugal consumers. They provide free, printable vouchers and awards for loved ones as alternative gifts. This is a great idea, and certainly an example of “it’s the thought that counts”, if you can get your consumerism-trained family to accept your “hugs anytime” as valuable.
Another solution is World Vision’s “Smiles” gift catalogue. This program enables us to purchase blankets, water wells, cows, emergency relief kits, etc, for people in crisis overseas, on behalf of our loved ones. Again, though, the difficulty will be convincing our family of the value in not receiving a gift, even though someone less fortunate is helped.
Giving gifts is not itself the issue. The consumerism-oriented distortion of Christmas has devalued us as well as this traditional practice, which originally reflected the gifts of the wise men and the gift of God. Thus, our gifts need to resonate with the gift that is Jesus, the reason for this holiday celebration in the first place.
God loved us enough to give us salvation through his Son; we love others because he first loved us (1 John 4:19). Unless this truth is communicated by our gifts, whatever form they take, we then remain prone to manipulation. “I love you and God loves you. This gift is a token of that love, exemplified by Jesus. Its value is not determined by its price, neither is mine, nor yours.”
God gave us Jesus so that we might be reconciled to him. He did not have to do this, nor do we deserve it. Christmas itself is a gift, a sacrament, for remembering that God “does not treat us as our sins deserve” (Psalm 103:10ff). In this way, Christmas becomes an opportunity for us to be reconciled also to one another. To say to our family and to others, “I love you anyway”.
We tend to only give gifts to those we love, or at least those we think positively towards. The giving of gifts is love in action, a way of saying, “you are special to me”. Our value as persons has absolutely nothing to do with what we own or what brand to which we are committed. Instead, our value is reflected by the health of our relationships. Christmas is a gift to us that enables us to care for and strengthen those relationships, to nurture and care for other people.
God demonstrated his love for us, how valuable we are to him, by giving us the gift of Jesus (Romans 5:6-8). His love for us proves to us that, despite sin, we are not cheap imitations. Let us follow his lead and aim for his standard. Take the opportunity this Christmas to tell someone how valuable they are intrinsically, beyond any possessions they own or status they occupy. Give a gift that lasts: affirmation!
[submitted to The Australian Christian on 10 Nov 2006]
